tall tales

from the gallagher five.

my Head and my Heart November 18, 2009

Filed under: Phil — gallyfam @ 7:51 am
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“We will not trust spiritual power until we have experienced a God who operates in the same way, a God who is willing to wait, allow, forgive, trust and love unconditionally. It is largely a waste of time to tell people to love generously when the God they have been presented with is a taskmaster, loves quite conditionally, is easily offended, very needy and threatens people with eternal torture if they don’t “believe” in him.” ~Richard Rohr

So I stumbled upon that reading last year some time and I am now beginning to accept that I talk and act and think the way I do because I am trying to undo the God I was initially presented with. I continually try to help both students and people grasp just how much God loves them… but I have realized that in doing so, I am truly trying to help myself which is proving to be a much harder task.

But when I read that quote above, as I often do, I sooooo want to experience that God. That God has shaped me as a teacher. That God has formed my theology. That God is who I read about in the Bible. But that God has not invaded my heart. I still attempt to please and earn the love of my taskmaster who loves me quite conditionally. I walk the fine line every day, all day long, trying not to slip up and offend him. I allow others the opportunity to experience freedom in God but have such a hard time with it myself. Meanwhile, I know that God is with us. I know that the kingdom of God is something I can simply step into… even now.

And I am praying that I will. And I guess this is what it means to work out my salvation. It is a process by which I become a complete, whole person. A life long experience of coming to terms with the fact that God does love me, accept me, forgive me, wait on me. ¬†Learning that God is patient and loves unconditionally. And that God in no way resembles what I or we think. God is always more. Salvation is my encounter of that God… daily, weekly, yearly. And as I encounter, I want more, I transform… I am literally saved from myself and my warped view of God.

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6 Responses to “my Head and my Heart”

  1. Heidi H Says:

    Hey Phil- I like this post. I wanted to pass along a link to some Mp3 downloads on this exact topic… from my church, it’s a discipleship class called Sonship- based on God adopting us as sons and daughters, and the implications of that relationship… It’s a really great series so feel free to listen if you are interested!

    http://www.newcity.org/downloads/#sonship

    take care!

  2. Erin Says:

    Hi, Phil (and Anne!!)

    I love the blog. So glad you guys are doing this.

    Good, good post, man. I was reminded of our conversation when we were with you guys. And I have had two titles in my head to order you from half.com. So…. I will do it.

    The good news is–at least we know a bit more the message we need to receive deep in our hearts. So, we press on to know that for ourselves. The even better news is that God is more interested than we are in getting His deep love inside of us. So He is doing something about it, slowly but surely.

    James and I are with you guys on this journey, with much of the same taskmaster baggage.

    Love to you all!!!

  3. Sarah Says:

    good post phil… i can really relate. thanks for being honest and open. miss you! sarah

  4. Sarah Says:

    ps. Did you guys listen to those Greg Boyd talks on youtube? He’s has a theology that I have found to be really encouraging and helpful and I really respect his research.

    • gallyfam Says:

      we are going to over Thanksgiving break, at least i will. thanks for sending that stuff our way. i always getting stuff like that to play around with and meditate on.

  5. liz Says:

    you took the words out of my mouth… and of course made them sound much better. i’m so there with you right now. it’s hard and i don’t like to think it’s life-long. but we’re where we’re supposed to be, right?
    love you.


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