so, i know i said that i would start blogging more often. i had every good intention, especially to use this space as a means of processing some of the big life changes that we are experiencing as individuals, as a couple and as a family right now. (in a nutshell: we are transitioning out of running “SCY” — a non-profit youth organization — after directing it together as a couple for 13 years. phil has found employment elsewhere, a couple times over, and i’m still hanging around running our elementary program, while overseeing our new middle & high school director, and picking up a couple part-time jobs on the side…) however, the thought of trying to process our (my) thoughts and emotions and fears and excitement and sadness in this public space felt a bit daunting and probably downright unhealthy — especially while we are very much in the thick of it — so i’ve stayed away. it seemed like the better option — to not put words out there and express emotions that can’t be taken back or are too personal to want to reveal here.
nonetheless, i’ve missed writing and i guess i’ve been waiting for a good excuse to get on here and write about anything else. if you know me, you know that i like to take black and white photos of my boys near their birthdays, on my old school 35 mm, manual camera. i think i say this every time, but it gets harder and harder to find the film — let alone black and white film — to purchase. this year, i went to my usual place in downtown breckenridge, prepared to cough up the cash required to acquire the way-overpriced product, but instead was told it was out of stock. i had to resign myself to buy it online and wait for it to be shipped, and yada yada yada, to make a long story short (too late!), it was already the end of november by the time i even started shooting the pictures of lincoln. and his birthday was in mid-october. oy.
i am learning that i don’t like to have unfinished projects hanging over my head. well, i think i already knew that, but i’m discovering the vast extents to which this personality trait of mine reaches. (nearly every area of my life, apparently.) needless to say, it has been killing me that these pictures have gone unfinished for so long. one of the hard parts is that i hate to take photos with the flash, and daylight just doesn’t last long at this time of year, and when the sun actually IS out, my lincoln-boy is in school 5 days a week! well, enough already. the photos have been taken, and they’ve been developed, and here are some of my favorites.
the boys and i discovered, while looking through the photos tonight, that the upside-down ones are much more fun to look at right-side-up:
right?! anyway… oh lincoln. lincoln clement continues to be my lovey-dovey, affectionate little guy. out of all three boys, he is the most touchy-feely. he loves to cuddle and sit on my lap and get & give hugs. he likes to get up in your personal space, in what i personally think is a totally endearing way (phil might disagree), and he doesn’t mind when you get up in his. he is a lover and a feeler (which can translate into lots of crying and can sometimes drive his parents crazy…), but which could be the reason why he has so many friends. lincoln is in the 2nd grade at breckenridge elementary and is surrounded by friends and seems to get along well with practically every kid in his class. he is relational and a people-person. he loves to play with toddlers, he easily joins in and tags along with silas & his friends and isn’t afraid to talk to adults, too. mr. social butterfly.
on the other hand, out of all three boys, lincoln spends the most time by himself. he continues to seek out time alone on a fairly consistent daily basis. some routines just stick, and it seems that, for lincoln, it’s the dice. his dice? yes, a yellow plastic box that contains over 200 dice. he pulls it out almost every day without fail, sits on the couch in the guest room and dumps them out on the cushion in front of his crossed legs. he moves them around and forms different groups of dice and re-arranges them constantly. even though i’ve tried asking before, no one really knows or has any idea what exactly he is imagining when he plays with his dice. all we know is that he needs that time, and he enjoys it and it somehow helps him… much to the chagrin of his older brother, who complains that lincoln always seems to pick the precise moment when silas wants to play, to go play with his dice instead.
lincoln is that middle brother who has big shoes to fill, but he is doing just fine. he is a fantastic student. math comes so naturally to him that it is scary. he is such an advanced reader that i forget he is only 8 years old. better yet, he doesn’t stress over school work and homework. he enjoys learning and has a great relationship with his teacher, in which, according to her, lincoln gets her jokes that most of the other students don’t understand. this makes for a pretty fun camaraderie between the two of them. he also sets a wonderful example for his little brother. this year at school feels pretty crucial. in several ways, the boys’ school is divided in two halves — K, 1st & 2nd graders in one half and 3rd-5th grade in the other. this year, lincoln and tate eat lunch at the same time and have recess out on the playground together afterwards, too. not until lincoln is in the 5th grade will this arrangement occur again. i’m so glad that tate, as a newbie kindergartner in school, gets to see his big brother each day. he watches lincoln behave as a good student and as a rule-follower and as a empathetic friend. he is showing tate the way, without even knowing it. he is a natural, and i am so very proud of him.
happy 8th birthday to our precious lincoln-boy. may you always be 100% you. we couldn’t love you any more than we do today!